Audience of One
by rnalon
Summary: In a car accident Haru is paralyzed from the legs down; bound to a wheel chair, he's forced to quit the Iwatobi Swim Team, and Makoto quits with him. Having no way to swim again, Makoto withdraws to himself. But Makoto plans to save at least some of what's been lost. { idea by dostmotherknowyou on tumblr! }
1. Chapter 1

The sound of feet hitting the tile of the hospital was the only thing heard for a bit. Then yelling. Then crying. Then yelling again. And then silence. Lot's of silence. Just the quiet hum of the air conditioner. It was driving Makoto insane. Rei seemed composed, as if not worried about anything. And that pissed him off; somehow. He wasn't one to get angry, but he and Rei were back to arguing as Nagisa stared at them with a reddened face.

It felt like hours before they were let inside the hospital room. Haru didn't even look at them. At all. His head was tilted down and his fists were tight, his knuckles white. Makoto was the first to run over, and embrace Haru into a tight hug. Haru shoved him away.

It was different.

Haru was paralyzed from the waist down, and he had no chance of swimming again. He mostly just sat in the bath as Makoto checked on him and carried him out. Then Haru would sleep, and then wake up, take a bath, go back to sleep.

Makoto let this happen for a few weeks. It was nearing a month. Haru barely spoke. He barely spoke. He mostly just went to school with Haru, and skipped all the swim club meetings. He never brought them up. Haru never brought them up.

It was a silent understanding both of their dreams of swimming careers were over with.

"Makoto." Haru snapped Makoto out of his thoughts, a small smile on his face. Makoto's eyes widened. "Yeah?" It was weird to see him smiling. In general, yes, but after the accident this was the first time he even half smiled. "Nothing, you just seem distant." Makoto nodded. "Oh, uh, don't worry about that. Like, I need to be worrying about-" He stopped.

It was quiet again.

Rei and Nagisa used to show up most everyday, but slowly their visits got less frequent, to nonexistent. Makoto sobbed over the new team picture that was taken for the swim team. He never told Haru.

Makoto sat by his desk, mumbling something as he laid his head down on it. "Haaaaru." He called out. The soft spinning of the wheelchair could be heard, and Haru was next to him.

"Yes."

"I have a really good idea!"

"Which is-"

"We go swimming." His eyes were bright and happy.

Haru frowned, "My legs are fucking paralyzed."

"W-Well... I have an idea for that, but..."

"Just say it. I don't care what it is."

"I'll carry you in the water? It won't be exactly like swimming; but maybe-"

"Makoto..."

"If it'll make Haru happy I'm happy!"

Haru smiled, letting Makoto dress him for swimming, laughing internally at his flustered face.

As soon as they got to the pool, Makoto realized this was a mistake. The new team was swimming, and Haru's eyes burned with clear hatred, hanging onto Makoto as he held his waist. Nagisa swam to the edge of the pool, looking at them both.

"No one expected Makoto to come back! We thought he quit!"

"You quit?" Haru looked at Makoto, with an expression that Makoto couldn't quite figure out.

"Uh-"

"He quit! He said he wanted to take care of you, and stuff. So we assumed you quit too, because of the accident."

"I never quit."

"But-"

"Makoto, this was nice of you, but I want to go home. Now."

"I-"

"Now, Makoto."

"Okay..."

Rin, Nagisa, and Rei waved them off. With smiles on their faces, wishing him luck. Haru and Makoto were silent.

Makoto didn't speak the entire way home. He was just... silent. Well, until he started crying. Haru touched his shoulder in a gentle manner, Haru rubbed his shoulder. "It's gonna be okay."

And for a moment; it felt like it was.

Sneaking to the school late at night to swim was something that became common. Makoto would hold Haru in the water, and Haru would hang onto him, feeling relaxed for once. It felt... normal? Compared to the few weeks before, when they barely spoke to each other.

Now it was becoming normal, the quiet talking while Makoto swam with Haru holding onto his back, and sitting on the steps and talking about just stuff they pulled out of thin air. Makoto found himself watching Haru's laughing face for once. It was nice to see.

During the time at home, they would sit on the couch, and Haru would talk about swimming. And how he wanted Makoto to join the swim team.

Makoto lied and said he would. He had no intention of getting back to swimming. He just couldn't.

He went to school, and then just sort of hung out for a bit after Haru went back home. He watched the others swim, mostly. It was pathetic probably, he should be home with Haru. He shouldn't be wasting his time or lying like this. He felt awful.

The only thing Makoto had to look forward to during the week was swimming at night with Haru. It was the only time to see Haru happy, and Makoto himself too.

"Makoto?" Haru nudged his shoulder. They sat on the steps of the pool, Makoto's arm around Haru's waist so he wouldn't topple over.

"Yeah?" He snapped out of his thoughts he was burying himself under, looking at Haru.

"Are you okay." More of a statement than a question, but Makoto still answered.

"Uh, yeah. I'm fine."

"Okay."

The next few days at school Makoto found himself drifting to the thought of Haru; more than often. His face would turn red, his hands would shake. It was a mess all around. He rubbed the back of his neck slowly. He looked at Haru sitting at his desk, he wasn't acting like this. Was it because he was nervous for Haru? Probably. It had to be.

Well, maybe it wasn't. He wasn't sure. He was able to go out with friends again, but instead of talking to Rei, Rin, and Nagisa, he was usually texting Haru to check on him, since Haru didn't want to go with them. The others teased him for it. It wasn't what they thought. Right?

The night Haru asked to sleep in the same room as Makoto, he realized maybe his friends' teasing was right. They slept on the same bed together, Makoto often not being able to fall asleep, but Haru falling asleep right away.

It couldn't be a crush though. It couldn't. And if it was; he'd never say anything about it. He knew maybe he just liked the idea of taking care of Haru, or that Haru let him take care of him.

He didn't know.

It was raining, lightning too, so they couldn't go to the pool that night. Makoto sighed in defeat, looking at the graying sky, rubbing the bridge of his nose. Haru seemed disappointed too. Makoto flopped on the couch, looking at his friend, smiling apologetically. "I'm sorry, Haru." Haru just shook his head in response. "It's okay, you don't control weather, do you?" Makoto half-heartedly laughed (with a sigh afterwords?), and turned to face Haru properly.

The next few hours; to fill in the space that was usually taken up by swimming and long periods of talking, they talked about the crash for the first time. The pain Haru felt, how Rei and Makoto argued, and were still not the same afterwords, how all his friends changed since. The guilt Rin felt for not being there. Things taking a turn for the worse when Makoto brought up the fact his friends still listed Haru on the swim team.

"Everyone treats me different. You the most." Haru frowned.

"I... don't mean to, really, Haru! You just mean a lot to me."

"Whatever. It doesn't matter. Hopefully it won't be raining tomorrow. Goodnight."

Makoto couldn't sleep that night; his thoughts kept going back to that conversation with Haru. Haru didn't sleep in his room that night like he had for a while, and he felt guilt eating him alive. A soft knock on his wall was enough to make him jolt out of bed, facing the face of the friend that he felt so bad for hurting.

"Makoto. I want to sleep in here."

"You can."

"I'm sorry."

Makoto gave a small smile, his usual one, and moved over, pulling Haru out of his wheelchair to put him in bed. Haru frowned a bit, but sighed, turning on his side to face away from him. Makoto shyly grabbed his friends' hand. And they both fell asleep.

They didn't even talk about holding hands the next morning. It drove Makoto wild. Why wasn't he saying anything? Did he just not care? Was it normal for Haru? No, it couldn't be. He was sure of that. He was stressed out. Not from the night before, but from everything in general. Just everything about this situation. It was almost three months.

"Makoto. You keep sighing."

Makoto smiled at him, shaking his head, as if to say it was nothing to worry about. Haru reached out, grabbing Makoto's hand, holding it in his hand.

"Do you feel any better?"

* * *

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	2. Chapter 2

Feeling the contact of Haru's skin on his made him jump. It was surprising to say the least. It didn't scare him; it just shocked him. Somehow? Haru was his best friend. It shouldn't have. Holding hands wasn't a weird thing to do; right? Right.

But the concerned face Haru was making made Makoto think otherwise, and he nodded his head at his question. "I was fine, though! Really!" He was rambling at this point, stopping as Haru started laughing, moving away. "You're funny, Makoto."

The next few weeks were like that. Holding hands, more or less cuddling together in the same bed. Makoto's heart racing wildly but Haru's calmness to it all. Makoto realized these were feelings of love. He wouldn't tell Haru, though. He didn't want to seem like he was manipulating him.

He probably just liked the idea of taking care of him.

He liked the idea of being able to be near Haru.

Did it count?

Not in his mind.

He ended up confessing his secret to Nagisa over the phone, and Nagisa quickly told Rei. It wasn't much of a secret anymore.

"It was never a secret, Makoto." Rei sounded slightly annoyed (?)

"It wasn't?"

"You make it obvious, haha."

"You do!" Nagisa chirped in, smiling. "It's cute!"

"Confess to him." That was all Rin said to him. "It'll make him happy."

The next week or so was filled with ways to somehow confess to Haru without making a complete fool out of himself. And being able to pull it off; somehow. He wasn't sure how he'd be able to, but he was motivated and ready to.

He lied down beside Haru in bed that night, pulling him close to cuddle him this time. Haru gave him a confused glance, but went with it, lying his head on his friend's chest.

"Makoto. Look at me."

He tilted his head down. Did he figure out? Was he that obvious? Really? He couldn't have been. His friends were teaching him-

Wild running thoughts were cut off by a kiss pressed to his mouth, and Haru lying back to his chest, falling asleep.

Makoto was shocked. Haru kissed him? He just held Haru close. Silent. He wanted to wake Haru up, but he knew Haru would be tired, so he didn't wake him. He just relaxed against him, kissing his head softly, rubbing his back softly. Haru seemed to relax a bit, his hands grabbing his shirt. Makoto couldn't sleep, so he just stayed up all night until he passed out.

The next morning Haru was over him, shaking him worriedly, "Are you oka-" He was cut off Makoto's lips on his, and he kissed back, holding onto him. "Haru, I-" They were both cut off by Makoto's phone buzzing, his friends texting him asking if he confessed to Haru yet. His face turned bright red, hiding it from Haru, Haru laughing softly. "You planned?"

They ended up going out. It was like stuff didn't even happen. Or that Haru was still on the swim team. Today was their first real date, or what Haru called a date. A picnic on the beach. Makoto sat in the water, holding Haru in his lap. It was silent. Awkward.

"Makoto... I want to swim."

"I know."

They were silent again, Haru pulling himself off his lap, moving deeper into the water by his arms, and Makoto pulled him back, a pained expression on his face.

"I wish I could give you my legs."

"Then you wouldn't be able to swim."

"I know."

"Oh."

"Haruka, I love you."

"I, uh, love you too." He hid his face, and Makoto smiled, hugging him close and protectively. "Don't try to move by yourself in the water. I don't want you to get hurt." He stroked his hair back, mumbling softly. Haru motioned to his wheelchair. "We can go home, now."


End file.
